Post by David Slayton on Jun 2, 2013 0:53:05 GMT -6
Happenstance - May 27, 2013
Announcer: And now, the Blazenwing Wrestling Federation, in association with the Staples Center, proudly presents... HAPPENSTANCE 2013!!!
The camera cuts from the PPV intro to the arena in Los Angeles, where a massive pyro show goes off on the stage. After it ends, the camera zooms around the ring, highlighting the many fans in attendance before, as always, settling on the historic BWF announce team of Nick Webb and Rayne.
Nick Webb: Welcome one and all to one of the most anticipated events of the year! We are live on pay-per-view all around the world - welcome to BWF Happenstance!
Rayne: Tonight, new BWF Tag Team Champions will be crowned, as ten men compete in a battle royal to let fate decide the next great team in this company! Kyle Cross and AJ Adams will take each other to the brink in what will surely be a bloodbath of a No Holds Barred Match for the BWF World Championship!
Nick Webb: On top of all that, the 2013 Happenstance Tournament will come to an explosive conclusion; eight became four, four will become two, and from those two, one will rise to claim the coveted crown of Happenstance Monarch and become the new #1 Contender to the BWF World Championship... and that begins right now!
DING DING DING!!!
Scott Benjamin: Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for ONE fall... and it is the first of two semi-final matches of the 2013 Happenstance Tournament! Introducing first, he hails from Blackrock, Ireland... weighing in tonight at 215 pounds... he is GODLESS... FLYNN MCLOUGHLIN!!!
Short silence. A wave washes over the crowd; the feedback of a guitar, it bellows through the arena like a wave of heat crossing the vast deserts, rippling like a mirage under the sun, the guitar feedback continues to wave back and forth until the strumming of an acoustic guitar kicks in - "Godless" by The Dandy Warhols. It plays for a few bars until the rest of the band ensemble of drums and horns join in with the guitars. At the cue; A Man wearing a long black overcoat steps out onto the stage. Carrying on his back a large Celtic Cross. He stops at the end of the ramp, looking out to the crowd, shaking his head a bit before he continues down the ramp, ignoring the fans as he makes his way into the ring, no flashy entrances, not even a video playing up on the screen, just music and the weight of a cross bearing down on this man's shoulders. He sets the cross down outside next to the ring post and steps between the ropes. He then rests back against the nearest turnbuckle, looking back out to the crowd. His music fades away into the distance, like another heat wave passing through.
Nick Webb: Godless has experienced his ups and downs since debuting a few weeks ago, but tonight, he has the chance to make history by winning this tournament... and becoming the only man in history to simultaneously be the #1 Contender for both the World and Sovereign Championships.
Rayne: He also has the chance to show Elena Simonova in advance what it's going to be like when he cashes in his shot against her on June 10 and becomes the new Sovereign Champion!
Scott Benjamin: And his opponent, she hails from she hails from Chicago, Illinois by way of New York City... weighing in tonight at 115 pounds... she is the current and reigning BWF Sovereign Champion... she is ELENA SIMONOVA!!!
All the lights go black, low red strip lights come on to line the ramp down to the ring and "My Songs Know What You Did in the Dark (Light 'Em Up)" by Fall Out Boy begins blaring over the BlazenTron as the house lights come up. Elena Simonova can be seen, crouched low, with her back to the audience; a red and white spotlight on each side of the stage begin rotating side to side. Elena spins to face the audience while she rises, the light glinting off of the Championship around her waist, as a cascading curtain of red pyro falls behind her. Elena walks down to the ring and pulls herself up onto the ring apron, leans back on the top rope and back flips into the ring.
Nick Webb: Elena Simonova has been undefeated since debuting in the BWF, and was the first competitor in 2013 to hold BWF gold. Tonight, she can raise her profile even higher in this company with a victory in the Happenstance Tournament.
Rayne: That's if she can get through two matches. Frankly, I don't even think she has it in her to survive this first one.
Nick Webb: You've been wrong before, Rayne.
Rayne: Your Mom's been wrong before.
DING!
Both Elena and Godless close in on each other. Godless wastes no time to size up his opponent up before slapping Elena with force on the left cheek. It didn't do much to the stoic tactician but it was enough to give Godless an opening to grab a handful of hair and grind Elena's face into the top rope. The referee begins to warn Godless about the illegality of his actions, so Godless drags her face along the rope before smashing he head into the turnbuckle pad and letting her go.
Nick Webb: Godless wastes no time to deal damage.
Rayne: I love the offensive style of Godless, no frills, no nonsense. He only cares about what deals damage.
Godless does not give Elena time to gather her senses before he lands a kick to the back of her knee, sending her to a kneeling position. Godless leaps and kicks off the second turnbuckle to send an elbow to the back of her head. The force of the elbow sends her face down to the mat. Once more, going with the no nonsense approach, Godless begins to rain stomps down upon Simonova.
Nick Webb: Godless has been dominating this match since the opening bell.
Rayne: He put the Sovereign Champion on notice a few weeks back. This is now a more explicit example. Her days as champion are numbered!
But the rain of stomps soon halted when Elena managed to catch the downward falling foot. With a snap roll Godless is taken to the mat and locked into a knee bar. But with the close proximity to the ropes, the ref breaks up the hold before it can do any real damage. Both roll to their feet, and Elena is quick to nail Godless with a shoulder tackle. While it didn't knock him down, it certainly knocked the wind out of him. Elena charges once more, succeeding in her second attempt, with a hard LARIATTOOOO!!~~ Tilde thingies means it hurt more. Godless raises into a seated position only for Simonova to connect with a neck snap, followed by a back heel kick to the jaw. Elena goes for the cover.
1!
2!
Kickout!
Nick Webb: Simonova is back in this match, but her offensive flurry only grants her a quick two count
Rayne: It's going to take more than that to keep Godless down. The man's a fighter. He comes from tough stock.
Elena stoops down to guide Godless back to his feet. Once he makes it to his feet, though Godless thanks her with a knife hand chop to the chest and an Irish whip to follow. On the rebound, Godless leaps up and smacks Elena with a JUMPING CLOTHESLINE ~~ on the way down. Godless goes for the pin.
1!
2!
Kickout!
Nick Webb: An impressive clothesline. But it wasn't enough.
Rayne: The woman is a scrapper, past matches prove it. But my money is still on Godless.
Nick Webb: Can't change bets mid match anyway.
Rayne: DON'T JINX IT!
With great annoyance, Godless begins to lift Elena by the hair only to be boxed about the ears with a text book bell ringer. The move made him stagger back a little bit, giving Elena time to hit Godless in the chest with a double chop. Before the flurry could continue, Godless doubles Elena over with a knee to the midsection. He bounces off the ropes. CROSSBOD-CAUGHT!! PUMPHANDLE SUPLEX!
Nick Webb: WHAT!? Did you just see that?!
Rayne: That was sloppy at best. Nothing impressive.
Nick Webb: She just tossed someone who has 100 pounds on her.
Rayne: Excuses.
Summoning that sudden burst of strength did take its toll on Elena, which grants Godless time to roll out of the ring to catch his breath. Elena follows Godless out of the ring and grabs him by the shoulder to make him turn around right into a right hand to the jaw.
1!
Godless thumbs Elena in the eye and hits a belly to back suplex right onto the floor. Elena recoils in pain from landing on the thinly padded concrete.
2!
Godless: You are an insignificant ant. Just like the rest of us!
Godless takes the time to taunt and torture Elena by placing kicks upon her back.
3!
Akemi Hayashi grew tired of spectating from ring side and boldly steps up to Godless trying to order him back into the ring. Godless was now stuck in the quandary whether to be amused or annoyed.
4!
Just when it seemed like Godless was about to take a swing at Akemi, he was halted by a shot to the lower midsection from Elena.
5!
Elena rolls herself back into the ring and takes a second to catch a breather while Godless rolls around outside the ring.
6!
Godless rolls back into the ring as well once he was able to gather his composure once more. But Elena took enough of a break to hit a dropkick to the knee. Once more a kneeling Godless is blasted with a back heel kick.
Nick Webb: This match is still raging on. Will either of them have enough in the tank if they advance?
Rayne: This ref is biased! Akemi interfering, blatant shot to the groin and the ref says nothing. Where is the justice?
Nick Webb: Akemi did nothing against the rules, and Elena hit Godless in the midsection, NOT the groin. Give our officials some credit.
Elena is quick to slap on an arm grapevine hoping the hold will grant her a few moments to catch a breath while damaging Godless at the same time. But once more, Godless finds his way to the ropes, forcing Elena to drop the hold. Elena does not waste any time and immediately hits Godless with a fistdrop. Godless stirs back to his feet and captures Elena in a tie up, CROTCH SLAM!
Rayne: There's the justice!
Nick Webb: Female or not, that still has to hurt!
Godless decides to vent his frustrations with a very blatant choke upon the downed Simonova. For a while it seems that Godless ignores the referee's count, only to break his choke at the very last nano-second. The referee warns Godless not to test him again. Not taking the threat lightly, he gets in the ref's face. This giving Elena enough time to get to her feet. She turns Godless around and kicks him in the gut making him double over. VODKA MOTHAFUCKING TONIC!!~!! (Canadian Destroyer). Samuel L Jackson is not on commentary but roll with it. Cover as the crowd counts along!
1!
2!
3!
DING DING DING!!!
Scott Benjamin: Ladies and gentlemen, here is your winner, advancing to the finals of the 2013 Happenstance Tournament... ELENA SIMONOVA!!!
"My Songs Know What You Did in the Dark (Light 'Em Up)" by Fall Out Boy begins blaring over the BlazenTron as Elena stands up, a little worse for wear, but still pleased with the results. She rolls out of the ring and embraces Akemi, before holding up a finger and mouthing "one down, one to go!"
Nick Webb: An impressive win out of nowhere from the tenacious Elena Simonova!
Rayne: I really need to stop betting on wrestling matches.
Nick Webb: I've been saying that for years.
Rayne: (Like Peter Griffin) Shut up, Meg.
The Return
"Bring It" by Trapt starts to play over the BlazenTron as the fans jump to their feet for one of the fan favorites makes his way to the stage. Outlaw steps from behind the curtain to applause from the fans in Los Angeles. He’s clearly not dressed to compete tonight as he waves to the fans.
Nick Webb: Here comes Outlaw, folks. We haven’t seen him on BWF programming since April 22nd on Havok.
Rayne: I know that since that week he and Kelly O’Shea have been spending a lot of time in Boston, her hometown, where she had some family and friends affected by the Boston Marathon bombings. Then he was kept off Danger Zone as a precaution from the BWF doctors.
Outlaw climbs up the steel steps and into the ring and is handed a microphone.
Outlaw: It feels good to be back in the ring in front of all the fans of BWF.
The crowd roars for the cheap pop as Outlaw smiles.
Outlaw: I know I should stand here and call out AJ Adams for the sneak attacks but I’m not going to because I know that he’s going to get his. A day will come where he and I go at it and I get that revenge. Instead I’m here to talk about what’s next for me. I had high hopes when signing with the BWF and I still have those aspirations but I know that it takes time.
He starts to walk around the ring showing little to no limp on the once hurt ankle.
Outlaw: There was some significant damage done to my ankle on April 15th it’s taken time to heal and I’m almost at 100 percent. I’m going to be back in this ring competing for all of the fans. Be it teaming for the Tag Team titles, gunning for the Sovereign title, or even working all the way up to the BWF World title, I will come back with more fight than ever.
The lights go out and the fans start to stir, people using their phones to try and see what’s happening.
Nick Webb: This is never a good sign.
“Conquistador” by 30 Seconds to Mars starts to play as blue lights fill the arena and flash off and on. One man starts to make his way down the ramp, a white and black half ski mask on. A light hits the crowd as another man starts to make his way through the crowd in a matching mask. He jumps the barricade just as the other man gets to the ring, jumping onto the apron. Outlaw has dropped the microphone and has taken his shirt off, ready for a fight.
The man from the crowd slides into the ring and Outlaw gets the jump on him and starts to attack with stomps. The other mystery man climbs into the ring and Outlaw tries to fend off the attack and the two men come to blows. The number game quickly catches up with Outlaw as he’s attacked from behind from the other man. The duo start to kick and stomp on the fallen Outlaw before picking him up. One holds him up as the other connects with a vicious European uppercut.
Nick Webb: Oh come on. Someone stop these two men.
The guy holding up Outlaw locks in a headlock and swings forward (Headlock Driver) and sends Outlaw headfirst into the mat. The crowd starts to boo as they pick Outlaw up for some more assault. One climbs the turnbuckle and stands tall as the other lifts Outlaw up for a powerbomb and holds him high.
Rayne: What do they have planned for Outlaw?
Outlaw tries to battle out but he’s hit from the mystery man off the top ropes with a flipping neckbreaker and powerbomb combo. The duo stand over Outlaw who is down on the mat. Trainers finally rush the ring as the two men disappear into the crowd.
Scott Benjamin: Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for ONE fall... and it is the second of two semi-final matches of the 2013 Happenstance Tournament! Introducing first, he hails from Brooklyn, New York... weighing in tonight at 218 pounds... he is ISAIAH MERCIER!!!
The lights go out and the lulls of fire and police sirens from the start of "The Consequence" by You Me At Six resonates throughout the arena. The moment the song really kicks in, white pyro rains down from the entrance stage. Red and blue spotlights shine on Isaiah Mercier as he emerges from the curtains. The crowd responds with a mixture of cheers and boos, but he smiles and descends the ramp while reveling in their reactions. He gets into the music through air guitar motions just as he reaches the outside of the ring. With a smirk on his face, he jumps onto the apron and springboards over the top rope, throwing a few punches into the air to signify his readiness.
Nick Webb: Isaiah Mercier debuted just one week ago and defeated ATM, Andrew Titus Murphy, to gain access to this tournament.
Rayne: He didn't just defeat ATM; he beat him so soundly, Murphy tucked tail and ran away from the BWF! Just goes to show you... some people got it and some people don't.
Scott Benjamin: And his opponent, she hails from Toronto, Ontario, Canada... weighing in tonight at 110 pounds... she is NESSA WALL!!!
The lights fade to a pale pink, and the screen comes to life with heavy static, showing a silhouette of a woman moving slowly towards the foreground. Mocking feminine laughter erupts over the speakers, bleeding into the driving guitars of Jet's "She's a Genius". The images on the screen shift, melting away as though doused in acid. Images flash, showing a petite blonde woman dominating both men and women in the wrestling ring.
My girl is ready to take control
She just blows my mind
She only listens to the radio to see who's alive
Yeah!
Nessa steps out at the top of the ramp, followed closely by her boyfriend and manager, Matt Ford. She raises her arms in the air as Ford wraps his arms around her from behind. Silver pyros rain down over the couple before she turns to plant a lingering and very passionate kiss on the lips of her man.
She wakes up scared of getting old
She don't feel no shame
She knows so many pretty boys
but they are all the same
Tossing her hair over her shoulder, she seems completely oblivious to the attention of the few supporters she does have in the crowd. With her manager at her side, she takes her sweet time getting down to the ring. She knows every eye is on her, and she loves every minute of it.
They said "Oh, hey there girl, tell me what do you do"
She says "um, nothing but I'm damn sure it's more than you"
That girl is a genius
Who o o o o ohw
I think she's serious
Who o o o o ohw
As the driving rock beat of Jet continues to rape every ear drum in attendance, Nessa pumps her fists in the air before stepping between the ropes that are held open by her manager. She immediately sprints across the ring and jumps up on the turnbuckles in the corner. Thrusting her fist in the air with one hand, she presses her palm to her lips and blows a kiss to the audience with the other before hopping down as her music fades out.
Nick Webb: Nessa Wall has been impressive since her debut, defeating Edwin Kerrigan in her first match and very nearly toppling the BWF World Champion, AJ Adams, in her second. Tonight, if she can conquer the Happenstance Tournament, she'll get another shot at Adams - or Cross, depending on how tonight's main event goes.
Rayne: Nessa has bad blood with Cross, too, after the whole LWA incident from a few months back. Needless to say, I think Nessa would be happy to get her hands on either man come Legacy X in July.
DING!
As the bell sounds, the two cruiserweights circle each other in the ring. Mercier quickly engages Wall in a collar-and-elbow-tie-up, which he quickly cinches in a side headlock, utilizing his weight advantage of over a hundred pounds. As Isaiah applies pressure, Nessa struggles to push both of them into the ropes, but eventually is able to do just that, as she heaves Isaiah off of her and into the opposite ring ropes, on the rebound Isaiah leaps through the air, scoring with a diving clothesline. He wastes a moment taunting the crowd, mostly to their chagrin...but is caught off guard by Nessa who takes quick advantage by executing a leg sweep from the canvas, knocking Isaiah down, and pouncing on top of him, landing several punches to his face. Nessa backs up to allow Isaiah to get to his feet, but just as he does, Nessa springboards off the near ropes, hitting a dropkick that lands flush in the face of Isaiah!
Nick Webb: Wow, down goes Isaiah! What a move by Nessa Wall!
Rayne: Yeah, she looks good bouncing around.
Nick Webb: Damnit, Rayne, call the match!
Rayne: I am!
Nessa quickly goes for the pin;
1!
Kickout!
Isaiah is out at just before two as he pushes Nessa off of him. Nessa quickly goes back on the attack however, executing a picture perfect headscissors to Isaiah, bringing him to the mat once more. Nessa again hits the ropes and flys through the air aiming a crossbody at Isaiah as he barely has gotten to his feet...but she’s caught! Isaiah tosses Nessa up onto his shoulder, looking for a running powerslam, but Nessa drops out of it, Isaiah stops in his tracks and turns...hurricanrana by Nessa! She quickly goes for the pin.
1!
2!
No! Isaiah kicks out!
Nick Webb: Nessa on a real roll here in the early going.
Nessa now backs Isaiah into a corner, delivering a few knife-edge chops to the chest. She hits a right-hand punch that stuns Isaiah and climbs to the second rope, now above him, raining down punches to his forehead, much to the delight of the crowd.
Nick Webb: Nessa is... oh, wait a minute!
Isaiah blocks one of the punches and pushes Nessa off the second rope, she lands on her feet, but Isaiah almost decapitates her with a vicious clothesline!
Rayne: What a clothesline!
Isaiah now finally seems to have an edge in the match after being overwhelmed by Nessa in the beginning of the bout. He stomps away at the smaller woman, talking smack as he does so. Isaiah now grabs a handful of Nessa’s hair, yanking her to her feet. Still a little woozy, Nessa is basically defenseless as Isaiah backs up a step, leaves his feet, and connects with a thunderous enziguri to the side of the head!
Nick Webb: Tear Jerker!!
Rayne: Nessa could be out!
Nick Webb: Maybe... but Isaiah isn’t going for the pin! Wait! The Brooklyn Nightmare! It’s locked in!
Rayne: Right in the middle of the ring, too!
Indeed, Isaiah, after landing his patented enziguri, has gone straight for the submission with another signature move, his variation of a camel clutch. Immediately the official is in Nessa’s face, asking her if she wants to give it up; perhaps even pleading with her to do so. Nessa shakes her head however, as a chant from the crowd wills her on, as does Matt Ford, from the outside. Slowly, Nessa tries to crawl to the ropes, but it’s a long crawl to do so.
Nick Webb: Things are looking very bleak for Ms. Wall.
Rayne: ...huh? Sorry, I was... distracted.
Nessa makes some progress towards the ropes when Isaiah pulls up more, torqueing Nessa’s back even more so than before. Nessa screams in agony but refuses to give up. Slowly she inches closer, determined to continue on, and not suffer the humiliation of having tapped out, especially not to someone as brash as Isaiah Mercier.
Nick Webb: She’s almost at the ropes!
Closer with each moment, but the pain increases with each movement Nessa makes, and in one last ditch effort, extends her right arm to clench the bottom rope and break the hold... but she falls short! Her arm thuds on the canvas and ceases movement.
Nick Webb: I think Nessa passed out from the pain! She refused to tap out!
Isaiah’s grin grows wide, surely he has won this fall, decisively. The official moves in to check Nessa’s arm; if it falls, she will be considered out. He raises it...but Nessa holds it firm in the air! In a burst of energy lifts herself up enough to crawl to the rope and get it! Isaiah needs to break the hold!
Nick Webb: I can’t believe it!
Rayne: Neither can Isaiah Mercier!!
Isaiah milks the five-count from the official, releasing the hold at about four and a half. Isaiah stands back, stalking Nessa as she struggles to regain her vertical base.
Nick Webb: Nessa may have gotten to the ropes, but the damage looks to be done.
Nessa staggers to her feet, Isaiah looks to hit Divine Simpl- it’s countered! Nessa pushes Isaiah away, but he comes charging back...
Rayne: AGAINST THE WALL!
Nessa hits Isaiah flush with her patented spinning backfist, his head kicking sideways as he falls to the mat in a heap. Nessa however, enduring so much pain in the match, collapses. She doesn’t move for a few seconds, before crawling over, and placing an outstretched arm on top of the chest of Isaiah Mercier.
Nick Webb: This has got to be it, ladies and gentlemen...
1!
2!
Kickout!
Nick Webb: What a match!
Isaiah shoots his left shoulder off the canvas just in the nick of time, allowing the match to continue. Nessa rolls over towards the ropes, using them for leverage to pull herself up. As soon as she realizes she is up before Isaiah, she turns her back and springboards off the second rope looking for a moonsault... but Isaiah moves; Nessa lands on her feet! Her knees buckle slightly upon impact, due to general fatigue, and Isaiah hits a nasty uppercut, staggering Nessa. Isaiah goes for a clothesline, but Nessa ducks! Isaiah turns into a fisherman buster by Nessa! Nessa is slow to her feet, but she is up much before Isaiah. As he struggles to a knee, Nessa blows a kiss...
Nick Webb: Oh, you know what that means...
Nessa sprints lightning-quick, delivering a hellacious shining wizard to Isaiah!
Nick Webb: Nessa hits “Kissy Kissy”!
Again, Nessa labors to get the pin, but this time she is able to hook the near leg however.
1!
2!
3!
...No! Isaiah’s foot is on the bottom rope!
Rayne: WOW! I can’t believe it!
Nessa shakes her head as she looks to the official, complaining lightly. She doesn’t protest much, knowing it will do her no good. She backs up a few steps back and as Isaiah makes it to his feet, Nessa runs, leaping and landing on Isaiah’s shoulders, looking for a hurricanrana, but Isaiah blocks!
Nick Webb: Sitout powerbomb, with authority!
Isaiah plants Nessa, and holds her there for the pin.
1!
2!
Kickout! Nessa barely escapes the pin. Isaiah’s turn now to complain to the ref, sure that it was a three count, it was that close. Nessa takes this chance to roll away and get to her feet. Isaiah now quickly realizes Nessa is back to her feet, he charges, looking for a big clothesline, but Nessa ducks...
Nick Webb: AGAINST THE WALL!!!
Rayne: It’s gotta be over now!
This time, Nessa puts everything she has into the second attempt at the backfist, as it causes her to fall on her fallen opponent, who is motionless.
1!
2!
3!
DING DING DING!!!
Scott Benjamin: Ladies and gentlemen, here is your winner, advancing to the finals of the 2013 Happenstance Tournament... NESSA WALL!!!
"She's a Genius" by Jet starts playing over the BlazenTron as Nessa rolls to her feet. She rubs one of the troubled areas that Isaiah was working on earlier with his submission even as she rolls out of the ring and into the waiting arms of Matt Ford. He chats with her excitedly as he takes her hand and helps her up the ramp.
Nick Webb: A true gentleman in Matt Ford, helping his girlfriend to the back.
Rayne: He's not gonna be able to help her later tonight, though, when she has to go back out to that ring and compete in the finals!
Nick Webb: Indeed. We now know it will be Elena Simonova vs. Nessa Wall in the finals of this year's Happenstance Tournament. Who will win is anybody's guess... but by the end of the night, we'll all know the answer.
The First Amendment
Nick Webb: Folks, we'll be getting to the Tag Team Title Battle Royal in a moment, but first, we've been informed that one of the cable companies, someone called ReliaCom, has paid BWF to air a special segment on tonight's show. So, here it is.
Rayne: ReliaCom? Never heard of 'em.
Nick Webb: Me either.
The BlazenTron cuts to black and, after a brief cut of static, familiar words fill the screen...
Hey, Kyle!
The Following Message Is Brought To You By
The 'tron screen blinks to life, revealing what appears to be a man standing with his back to the camera in an ornate office done in rich wood, leather seating with shelves of books in the background. The man in frame is wearing a darkly-colored, finely-tailored suit of the obviously expensive variety. The camera casually closes in on the figure in the suit, who turns to face the camera with a smile on his face. The man is not a BWF superstar, but the crowd in the arena pops loudly, because this man is known across the world. It is none other than Scott Free.
After the crowd cheering dies down a little bit, the man speaks.
Scott Free: Sorry to interrupt your big night, BWF. Hope you fans are enjoying yourselves! I just really wanted to talk to my buddy Kyle Cross for a bit. See, Kyle and I have a match coming up in a few weeks, and it's pretty important. Well it is to Kyle anyway. I'm sure most of you fans have been inundated with Kyle's asinine attempts at making himself look better than me over every form of social media available. Kyle wants the world to think that he's somehow got some advantage over me. One important thing about the match we'll be having is that it's not the first time we've met in a wrestling ring. And this match will be a Last Man Standing Match.But you fans probably already knew that, too. If you didn't it's no biggie. I do need to warn you, though. Kyle likely won't be able to compete for at least a little while after the match because he's going to take the biggest asskicking he's ever experienced.
That gets a muddled reaction from what is obviously a pro-Cross crowd. After a moment, Free continues.
Scott Free: I saw a couple promo videos Kyle did in preparation for his match tonight, and he made mention of some of the greats he's beaten in this business. And it sounded impressive. Mostly. But I want you folks, those of you who don't already know, anyway, to ask Kyle exactly how many times he's ever beaten me. His response will likely include something about how one of our matches was in a fish market in Japan, and few people were on hand live so it doesn't matter. You know, because it's Neilsen rating was for shit, and there was no buy-rate. He's also lied to you and told you that we've been rivals for years, and that during those long years of being rivals I did things that he somehow hasn't forgotten or forgiven me for.
We've had two matches. Period. Ever. Sound like rivals to you? Well, maybe I've been dogging him out in the media all these years, eh? He -Kyle Cross himself did this- recently posted a video of me making rather complimentary statements regarding the respect I have for him in the ring. Sound like rivals to you? No, folks...the only place where Kyle and I are rivals is in his imagination. The thing he holds against me? Well, his answer would likely differ, but I think it's jealousy. Jealousy at looking at me, and seeing a man who is everything he himself is in the ring -and then some. Jealousy at seeing me surpass everything he's ever accomplished in less time than it took him to do it. Jealousy at the fact that he knows that since I've seen the error of my ways, and become a man of the people, that I've even been doing that better than he has, because unlike Kyle Cross, I actually mean it. And that's not to say he never has, it's my firm belief that he's simply strayed a bit and hasn't realized it. And because it was me who brought to his attention that he's seriously mis-stepped, I -according to Kyle- have ulterior motives and of course, because of my past, those motives simply cannot be altruistic.
The crowd on-hand steadily picks up a chant of "CROSS-IS-AWESOME!!" (clap-clap-clapclapclap) "CROSS-IS-AWESOME!!" (clap-clap-clapclapclap) It doesn't stop, but declines a tad as Free continues running his mouth.
Scott Free: Oh, I agree, BWF. Kyle Cross is indeed awesome. His misunderstanding of where I'm coming from is something that I really can't fathom, because he's not a man who can't see reason, normally. His total refusal to even be willing to listen to my gripe about him without trying to undermine all of the hard work, and trust that I've built with the great fans of this business for the past few years mystifies me, it really does. And to my regret, I've fallen, at times into the game of "he said-he said" and you fans deserve better. Hell, Kyle Cross deserves better. Kyle Cross, at this point may not even be willing to give credence to what I'm about to say, but as I live and breathe, I promise all of you that it's the absolute truth. Kyle said recently that I'm trying to replace him as this industry's leading hero or some such. The line I'm thinking of reminded me of something he said to me previously, inferring that I called myself a hero. If I did such a thing it was an error, and is in no way true. As I replied to him when he made the statement, I'm no hero, I'm simply a man who is trying to be a better person, and the only hero I want to place at the top of this industry is Kyle Cross himself. I apologize for interrupting your night's entertainment, folks. Please forgive me. And Kyle, I just wanted to stop in and wish you good luck in your match against AJ Adams tonight. Oh, and being the smartass that I am, I wanted to remind you that Adams is no Scott Free. Whether you beat him or not, and regardless of who you step into the ring with between now and the end of June, you are not ready for me. You never have been. You never will be. I won't be speaking to you through any media that doesn't see us face to face until it's actually time to promote our match, Kyle, since you're so bored with all of this. In the meantime, you feel free to tell these people what my record is against everyone else, like it matters. You go ahead and tell these people that I'm not a hero. I'll second that. Tell them you have some -any- advantage over me. You just keep talking yourself up, hoss. While you still can. You can tell these people anything you think they'll believe. Blow as much sunshine up your ass as you can, for now. I give no fucks. Just be as aware as you've ever been of anything that the time for paying tribute to yourself will soon be at an end.
Smell like a Catness, Catness!
Hello, BWF Fans.
Catness is seen in an
ordinary looking bathroom. Towels laid neatly on the towel rack, a bar of soap
took a nap in the soap dish, toothbrushes stood erect at attention in their
holders, and the sink glistened and sparkles as if it too just finished
brushing it’s teeth. That is to say, if sinks had teeth.
Look at your favorite wrestler.
Now back to me.
Now back at that wrestler.
Now back to me.
Sadly, they aren’t me.
In antagonizing
slowness, the camera zoomed in on Catness’s most awesome face. A face chiseled
from the imagination of the Titans and Olympians after Zeus finally got his
shit together, creating Catness in all of her infinite glory. Or at least, that
was the story that her Godmother told her as a child to get her to shut up.
But if they stopped using store brand scented body wash and
switched to Old Spice, they could smell like they’re me.
Look Down.
Back Up.
The bathroom backdrop
suddenly changed as the well-crafted prop ascended away from the scene on it’s
vertical base. A deep blue and off white striped sweater tied at the sleeves
dropped down upon Catness’s shoulders and sat there the way werewolf ravaged
collar would hang after one has been viciously attacked and excavated of all
hope. You know how fashion trends are these days, always trying to keep up with
the Joneses and what not.
Where are you?
You’re on a boat with the wrestler your favorite wrestler
could smell like.
What’s in your hand?
Back at me.
I have it.
It’s an oyster with two BWF tickets, you know,
that thing you love.
An oyster the size of
an average(whatever is considered average) human hand opens up with revealing
two blue tickets to the next BWF event paid and brought to you by Ticketmaster.
[Insert Ticketmaster slogan here] Now that I’ve looked, it doesn’t appear that
they have one. Someone in the marketing department needs to be fired.
Look again.
The tickets are now diamonds!
Anything is possible when your favorite wrestler smells like
Old Spice.
I’m on a horse!
The camera zooms out
to show that Catness is indeed on a horse. What more can one say to that?
DING DING DING!!!
Scott Benjamin: Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is the Over The Top Rope Battle Royal to determine the NEW BWF Tag Team Champions!
The crowd cheers loudly as the camera pans over to the BWF Tag Team Championship belts, sitting atop the announcer's table, waiting for their new owners to be decided.
Scott Benjamin: Introducing first... STRYKER CLOUD!!!
The arena lights fade to a light hue of blue as "True Blue" by ZONE begins playing over the BlazenTron. The crowd cheers loudly as Stryker Cloud slowly rises up from the center of the stage while smoke consumes him. Once he has risen, Cloud folds his hands and bows traditional Japanese style, causing two large pillars of flame to surround him. As the crowd cheers, Stryker Cloud slowly walks up the ring steps and bows again in the center of the ring.
Nick Webb: Good old Stryker Cloud, one of the BWF's most reliable alumni competitors! The man is a former BWF World Champion, United States Champion... you name it, he held it.
Rayne: He's also a former BWF Tag Team Champion, and if he plays his cards right here tonight, he just might win those titles again.
Scott Benjamin: Introducing next... XANDER STRIFE!!!
"No Sleep 'Til Brooklyn" by the Beastie Boys hits the BlazenTron and Xander Strife walks out onto the stage, grinning. The crowd half cheers, half boos, but truthfully, most of them don't seem to care. Xander rolls into the ring and poses as the music fades.
Nick Webb: Xander Strife doesn't seem to be too popular here in Los Angeles.
Rayne: Most people just probably don't know who he is! I'll tell you - he was the man Cloud held the BWF Tag Titles with! We could see an X-Factor reunion here tonight!
Scott Benjamin: Introducing next... EMPEROR IAN!!!
The arena darkens as "Imperial March" by John Williams hits. A spotlight shines down on Ian and entourage as they walk to the ring. Funk Dogg holds the ropes open as Ian steps into the ring, and then his ladies take off his robe as he poses for the crowd.
Nick Webb: This guy's kind of disgusting.
Rayne: (Shrugs) I like him.
Nick Webb: You would. Well, despite his appearances, Ian is no stranger to gold - and he could very easily add another Championship to his resume tonight in this battle royal.
Scott Benjamin: Introducing next... BIOCYDE!!!
A huge explosion rattles the stage as “Corpse Within My Soul” by DL Token hits the BlazenTron. Out steps BioCyde onto the stage as the crowd begins ruthlessly jeering the masked man. He merely shakes off the boos, and then continues walking down the ramp before sliding into the ring. BioCyde rolls to his feet, and then starts throwing punches as the music fades.
Nick Webb: BioCyde is also no stranger to the tag division in BWF, forming one of the company's most memorable teams in Phoenix and BioCyde. A different Phoenix, by the way - not PWA's Rob Robinson.
Rayne: Unfortunately, I understand that Phoenix - both ours and PWA's - will not be appearing tonight, meaning if BioCyde wants to win the Tag Titles, he's gonna have to do it alone... or with a new partner.
Scott Benjamin: Introducing next... THE BIG O!!!
The lights in the arena fade to a deep black as the beats of "One Step Closer" by Linkin Park hits the BlazenTron. A black light comes on over the entire arena as the band begins to sing. Just as the song reaches the chorus, The Big O steps onto the stage, his outfit lit up in neon from the black light. He poses and points to the fans, then runs towards the ring as the chorus plays. The Big O slides into the ring, then runs to the nearest turnbuckle and poses for the fans as the crowd chants his name. As the song fades, he jumps down and removes his Khaki overshirt.
Nick Webb: The winner of the 2004 Gauntlet Run. A former BWF World Champion. Former BWF Intercontinental Champion. Former BWF Tag Team Champion. The Big O might be the most decorated performer appearing in tonight's match. Are we looking at one half of the next BWF Tag Team titleholders?
Rayne: It'll be a hard mountain for Big O to climb, Nick. He was on fire for the first few years of his career, but in recent years, he's become a jabroni to the stars. Could it be his night? Anything can happen in the BWF. Will it be his night? I highly doubt it.
Scott Benjamin: Introducing next... he is 2Rude... RUDY RUDO!!!
"Dubstep-Techno Mix" by DJMO Beatz begins to play over the PA system as photographers flock the stage. The bass in the music drops as 2Rude, wearing a long flowing rope with a high collar and boa feathers, is accompanied out onto the stage by his agent Otto Bumblefeck. The two begin walking down to the ring as 2Rude takes in all the flashing of the cameras with glee. Once inside the ring Otto pulls out a mirror and a comb. He passes the mirror to 2Rude so that he can admire himself while Otto fixes up his hair. Once that's done Otto gives 2Rude a small glass vial of spray cologne, which he spurts behind his earlobes before handing it back and waiting.
Nick Webb: This guy debuting right here may be one of the strangest individuals I've ever seen compete in a BWF ring. And when you thumb back through our company's history - well, what still exists of it, anyway - that's quite a hefty statement.
Rayne: The kid's got moxie! Charisma, attitude, a manager with an amazingly awesome name! We'll find out right now how Mr. pretty boy runway model handles being in an actual ring, but if he can add wrestling skill to all of that? You just might be looking at a future Hall of Famer!
Scott Benjamin: Introducing next... MONOXIDE!!!
The lights suddenly cut out to black and disco style lights fill the arena. "Party Rock Anthem" by LMFAO hits the BlazenTron and a single spotlight hits the stage, illuminating the body of Monoxide! The crowd half boos, half cheers the risk taker from Buffalo as he makes his way down the ramp, shuffling as he goes. Mono hits the ring and slides inside, kipping up before flexing for the ladies. The lights return to normal and the music fades as Monoxide pops and locks in the ring.
Nick Webb: Monoxide is another BWF throwback - a former Cruiserweight Champion with the company, back when BWF had weight divisions.
Rayne: Yes, but what has he done outside that? That was eight years ago, Nick! This is gonna be one sad, short Cinderella story if the kid can't bust out something spectacular tonight!
Scott Benjamin: Introducing next... ROWAN O'KELLY!!!
"The Kilburn High Road" by Flogging Molly begins playing over the P.A. system as the red-haired warrior, Rowan O'Kelly, saunters out onto the stage, holding up his left arm as the crowd cheers. The music reaches its chorus as Rowan marches down the ramp, and then rolls into the ring. He holds his left arm high, and then crosses both arms in a cross-like fashion as the crowd cheers louder and the music fades.
Nick Webb: Rowan O'Kelly has never competed in a BWF ring, but PWA fans will recognize him as a graduate of one of the BWF's official developmental schools, the Full Effect Academy in Milwaukee.
Rayne: He competed in PWA for a time, eventually suffering a broken leg at the hands of our current BWF Owner, Emily Corlen. I wonder how tense that phone call was when Emily contacted Rowan to participate here tonight. I'll bet he was more stubborn than the Blarney stone!
Nick Webb: That doesn't even make sense.
Rayne: It's funny because he's Irish! HA!
Scott Benjamin: Introducing next... LOGAN AVERY!!!
The intro to "Greed" by Godsmack booms through the Arena's PA system and Logan Avery comes out to a sea of boos, followed by his Muscle, Ryan Backstrom. With Backstrom keeping distance behind him, Avery goes down to a knee and points to the heavens, as a colorful explosion of Pyro surrounds him. He busts through the smoke with a cocky grin on his face. Avery jogs to the ring, opting to go up the steel ring steps instead of sliding right on into the ring. He lifts his leg to enter through the 2nd/3rd ropes, but stops and shouts at some fans first, before entering and poses in the far corner as the music comes to a close.
Nick Webb: Here's another competitor making his BWF debut here tonight, Logan Avery. Honestly? I don't know much about the guy, other than he's apparently pretty new to the ring.
Rayne: What about his mob ties everybody keeps talking about?
Nick Webb: Out of respect for Mr. Avery, I won't comment on hearsay and speculatory comments.
Rayne: Where's the speculation? Did you SEE his promos? The only way it could have been made MORE obvious would be if Marlon Brando was making him an offer he couldn't refuse!
Scott Benjamin: And finally... TOCO!!!
The lights in the arena change to a golden hue as “The Red “by Chevelle hits the BlazenTron. As the crowd reaches their feet, the man known as Toco walks out onto the stage to a huge pop. He poses for the crowd, and then walks down the ramp, slapping hands with the fans as he goes. He rolls into the ring, then walks to the ropes and throws his fist into the air, causing all four turnbuckles to explode with pyro as his music fades.
Nick Webb: Toco stumbled last week in his match against Elena Simonova, who advanced to the finals of the Happenstance tournament earlier in the evening. As a result, Toco has decided to make the best of things here tonight and try his hand at winning the BWF Tag Team Titles.
Rayne: He won those titles in 2006 alongside Nya Roux, but she refused to team with Toco because she was "too pretty" and walked out of the company. We may see a similar situation tonight if the final two happen to be Toco and Rudy Rudo. (Laughs)
DING!
The bell rings and all ten combatants in the ring immediately begin battling with one another, the final two destined to become the newest BWF Tag Team Champions. Stryker Cloud and Xander Strife decide to team up, moving Emperor Ian into the closest corner and starting work on him. Meanwhile, Toco and BioCyde, no strangers to one another from the days of BWF yore, start laying into one another. The Big O and Logan Avery start exchanging wrestling holds as on the other side of the ring, Monoxide and Rudy Rudo are, at least temporarily, allying together against the big Irishman, Rowan O'Kelly. Stryker Cloud hits several hard chops on Ian before taking a step back. He jumps up for a kick to Ian's skull, but from out of nowhere, his former partner, Xander, kicks him in the chest, doubling Cloud over in midair! Stryker slumps to the mat and Xander moves in to lift him up, but before he can, Ian grabs the former BWF Tag Champ by his hair and hoists him up, tossing him over the top rope and down to the floor!
Nick Webb: And we have our first elimination! Xander Strife is out!
Rayne: Gee, never saw that one coming.
With Xander out and Cloud down, Ian starts stomping all over the masked wrestler. A few feet away, Monoxide and Rudy Rudo have moved away from Rowan, who is down in the corner, and have begun beating on one another instead. Monoxide hits a hurricanrana on Rudo, sending him down and draping him across the second rope. He aims for a 619, but Rudo rolls backwards, leaving Monoxide to hit nothing but air. Monoxide's momentum slides him back into the ring, where Rudo is waiting with a drop toe hold. Monoxide's head slams hard against the mat as Rudo kips up to his feet before running across the ring and hitting a modified version of his Catwalk Kick (Drive-By Kick). Rudo leans down in wait as Monoxide slowly reaches his feet, but before Rudo can unleash whatever it is he was planning on the high-flyer, Logan Avery comes out of nowhere and hits a jumping kick, sending Monoxide over the top and to the ground! Rudo just stares at Avery incredulously as Logan smirks - before taking a big boot to the face, courtesy of BioCyde! Bio's aim is off, however, and his leg gets caught up on the top rope! As he struggles to get it free, Rudo comes up from behind and lifts his free leg, sending the 7'2" monster over the top, crashing down on top of Monoxide! Avery looks up from the mat and Rudo does a Vogue-esque catwalk pose before turning his attention to a different competitor.
Nick Webb: A little bit of one-upsmanship there between Logan Avery and Rudy Rudo!
Rayne: Not to mention two more eliminations! How did Rudo lift BioCyde!? Amazing!
Over on the other side of the ring, Emperor Ian has pounced on Rowan O'Kelly and is now beating on the ginger Irishman with hard kicks and punches. Big O and Rudy Rudo start scuffling, but a rejuvenated Logan pulls Rudo off of Big O and they start brawling across the ring. Big O then makes his way over to the other side of the ring, where Stryker Cloud and Toco are going back and forth. Toco takes Cloud down with a big To-Cutter (Diamond Cutter), and Big O takes the opportunity to catch Toco from behind with a reverse DDT.
Nick Webb: Big O and Toco are no strangers to one another. Toco beat Big O at WrestleFest II to retain the World Heavyweight Championship, not to be confused with the BWF World Championship, of course.
Rayne: I remember back when BWF had two World titles. A few times, actually. That was the only way a guy like Toco could be World Champion! HA!
As the various battles continue across the ring, Big O pulls Toco up (with some effort) and leans him against the ropes before tying up and attempting to lift him over the top. He struggles (naturally) and Toco ends up slapping Big O in the ears with both hands, knocking him back and dazing him. As Big O stumbles backwards, Stryker Cloud - back on his feet - charges at Toco with an attempted clothesline, but Toco catches him in the act and hoists him over his shoulders in an almost Samoan drop-esque manner, sending Cloud flying out of the ring and onto the floor! Big O attempts the same thing moments later, and suffers the same fate, as Toco lifts him up and tosses him over the top with little to no effort.
Nick Webb: Two more down! Toco eliminates Stryker Cloud and The Big O with extreme prejudice!
Rayne: As much as I hate to say it... the big guy might be the one to stop in this battle royal. Who's gonna get his fat ass over the top rope?
Toco leans back against the ropes for a moment, observing the action as Rudy Rudo and Logan Avery continue their fistfight across the ring. In the far corner, Rowan O'Kelly has Ian backed into the corner and is chopping away on the former multiple PWA titleholder. He lifts Ian up and starts trying to shove him over the top rope even as Ian hangs on for dear life. Outside the ring, Funk Dogg is watching and, seeing Ian in a perilous situation, reaches into the ring and yanks on Rowan's leg, pulling him down onto the mat. Ian lands back in the ring and doesn't even acknowledge Funk Dogg - but Rowan does, yelling outside the ring as he pulls himself to his feet using the ropes. Of course, Ian takes full advantage of this distraction and grabs Rowan, lifting him up and over the top. Rowan lands on top of Funk Dogg and Ian doesn't even bat an eye as he shifts his focus back into the ring.
Nick Webb: And with that elimination, we're down to the final four! Emperor Ian, Rudy Rudo, Logan Avery and Toco! Two of these men will be leaving Los Angeles as the new BWF Tag Team Champions! But who will it be?
Rayne: We're about to find out! Here we go!
On one side of the ring, Avery lifts Rudo up for the Hotel California (Quick, Explosive Brainbuster), but as he delivers the move, Rudo lands on his feet. Before Avery can react, Rudo hits a quick, hard jab to the kidney. With Avery momentarily stunned, Rudo lifts him up and hits Avery with The Fashionable Ending (Styles Clash)! He picks up Avery and starts trying to hoist him over the ropes, but Avery holds on, dazed yet determined. A few feet away, Toco and Ian have started fighting. Ian wins the initial struggle and tries to hit Toco with his Front Suplex Gutbuster, but has difficulty lifting the fat guy up. Toco uses this to his advantage, grabbing Ian and hitting him with multiple Trapped Headbutts. With Ian dazed, Toco picks him up and tries to suplex him over the top, but Ian grabs the top rope and holds on tight!
Nick Webb: None of these guys are gonna give in here!
Toco growls loudly, trying as hard as he can to force Ian to let go so he can eliminate him, but Ian just refuses to let go. Neither man sees Rudy Rudo running across the ring - the model jumps up, splashing hard into Toco's back! The impact of the splash thrusts Toco forward, knocking Ian loose and out of the ring! With Toco dazed, Rudo grabs his leg, trying desperately to lift him up and over, but he can't get the big guy off of his feet.
Rayne: Kid, you're not gonna be able to... wait! Look!
The crowd starts buzzing as the man who Rudo's been fighting, Logan Avery, suddenly appears, grabbing Toco's other leg! Rudo looks over at Avery for a moment, and then starts lifting. Avery does the same, and Toco starts going over! They both push with all of their might, lifting as hard as they can, and against all the odds, with both men combined, Toco is hoisted over the top rope and lands on the apron before unceremoniously bouncing off and landing on the floor of the Staples Center!
DING DING DING!!!
Scott Benjamin: Ladies and gentlemen, here are your winners... and the NEW BWF Tag Team Champions... LOGAN AVERY AND "2RUDE" RUDY RUDO!!!
"Greed" by Godsmack hits the BlazenTron as the official enters the ring with both Tag Team Titles and hands a belt to each man. They look at one another with trepidation before heading to separate corners to celebrate what each man likely perceives as their own personal victory. On the outside, Toco stands up and looks at the ring, nodding. A few feet away, Ian is still arguing with Funk Dogg, probably blaming him for his loss somehow.
Nick Webb: We have new BWF Tag Team Champions! And they only spent, like, 2/3rds of the match beating each other up!
Rayne: They'll certainly have some interesting conversation material the first time they meet up to discuss match strategy!
Coming Soon on Pay-Per-View
The Payoff
We pan to the backstage area where we see AJ Adams in one of the hallways deep in the Staples Center. He hands someone an envelope but the camera can’t catch the persons face.
AJ Adams: This is the other half of your payment, good job out there tonight.
The cameraman tries to shuffle around but still can’t seem to get a shot at who Adams is talking to. The man starts to talk with a light Mexican accent.
Mystery Man: No problem, ese. You know we’re always lookin’ for a payday. We even gave you the hometown discount, holmes.
Adams starts to laugh and shakes his hand as it becomes clear there’s another man standing with them.
Mystery Man 2: I have a feeling this might be the start of a great partnership. You need something done you know where to find us. LA’s where it at. You know the numbers, ese. You might be 310 but you’re okay in our book.
The men seem to pause for a moment.
Mystery Man: Looks like we got company.
Adams turns around as the camera looks to the ground.
AJ Adams: Get that camera out of here.
The camera falls to the ground and the cameraman is shown being sent into a thing of boxes and equipment.
DING DING DING!!!
Scott Benjamin: Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for ONE fall... and it is the final match of the 2013 Happenstance Tournament!!!
The camera pans to the stage, where a throne fit for royalty is waiting for its next owner. On the seat, a crown and scepter are neatly placed and under them, a royal cape.
Nick Webb: It's time, Rayne! We're about to find out who the 2013 Happenstance Monarch will be!
Rayne: Just say it like it is, Nick; we're guaranteed to have ourselves a Queen! Elena Simonova or Nessa Wall - and I can't see either one of these women allowing themselves to lose this match!
Scott Benjamin: Introducing first, she hails from Chicago, Illinois by way of New York City... weighing in tonight at 115 pounds... she is the current and reigning BWF Sovereign Champion... she is ELENA SIMONOVA!!!
All the lights go black, low red strip lights come on to line the ramp down to the ring and "My Songs Know What You Did in the Dark (Light 'Em Up)" by Fall Out Boy begins blaring over the BlazenTron as the house lights come up. Elena Simonova can be seen, crouched low, with her back to the audience; a red and white spotlight on each side of the stage begin rotating side to side. Elena spins to face the audience while she rises, the light glinting off of the Championship around her waist, as a cascading curtain of red pyro falls behind her. Elena walks down to the ring and pulls herself up onto the ring apron, leans back on the top rope and back flips into the ring. Her manager, Akemi Hayashi, leans on her cane and smiles proudly as she watches Elena.
Nick Webb: Elena took out a BWF Hall of Famer in Toco to make it to this event, and earlier tonight, she defeated a very game Godless to make it to this point. Right now, she's about to face perhaps her greatest challenge yet in a very game and very dangerous Nessa Wall.
Rayne: Wall took a hard hit last week on Havok from AJ Adams - literally - but after the way she took down Isaiah Mercier earlier, I have to think she may have the edge here in Los Angeles.
Scott Benjamin: And her opponent, she hails from Toronto, Ontario, Canada... weighing in tonight at 110 pounds... she is NESSA WALL!!!
The lights fade to a pale pink, and the screen comes to life with heavy static, showing a silhouette of a woman moving slowly towards the foreground. Mocking feminine laughter erupts over the speakers, bleeding into the driving guitars of Jet's "She's a Genius". The images on the screen shift, melting away as though doused in acid. Images flash, showing a petite blonde woman dominating both men and women in the wrestling ring.
My girl is ready to take control
She just blows my mind
She only listens to the radio to see who's alive
Yeah!
Nessa steps out at the top of the ramp, followed closely by her boyfriend and manager, Matt Ford. She raises her arms in the air as Ford wraps his arms around her from behind. Silver pyros rain down over the couple before she turns to plant a lingering and very passionate kiss on the lips of her man.
She wakes up scared of getting old
She don't feel no shame
She knows so many pretty boys
but they are all the same
Tossing her hair over her shoulder, she seems completely oblivious to the attention of the few supporters she does have in the crowd. With her manager at her side, she takes her sweet time getting down to the ring. She knows every eye is on her, and she loves every minute of it.
They said "Oh, hey there girl, tell me what do you do"
She says "um, nothing but I'm damn sure it's more than you"
That girl is a genius
Who o o o o ohw
I think she's serious
Who o o o o ohw
As the driving rock beat of Jet continues to rape every ear drum in attendance, Nessa pumps her fists in the air before stepping between the ropes that are held open by her manager. She immediately sprints across the ring and jumps up on the turnbuckles in the corner. Thrusting her fist in the air with one hand, she presses her palm to her lips and blows a kiss to the audience with the other before hopping down as her music fades out.
Nick Webb: As you mentioned before, Nessa took out Isaiah Mercier earlier tonight in the semi-finals, but before that, she defeated Edwin Kerrigan in a Double Debut Match to make it to Happenstance.
Rayne: She took Kerrigan down so hard, in fact, that she might have ended his career before it began! We haven't heard a peep from him since! Or before, for that matter! If she can do that to Elena tonight, she'll walk away the 2013 Happenstance Queen and face either Kyle Cross or AJ Adams for the Championship at Legacy X in July!
Nick Webb: If she can do that to Elena tonight, she'll be doing something that only two other people during Elena's entire career have managed to do. And one of those individuals now runs this company.
DING!
The bell rings and both female competitors start circling the ring, staring at one another with determined gazes, realizing how important this match is to both of them. After their tense stare down ends, Nessa and Elena lock up in the middle of the ring. After a brief scuffle for control, Elena gets the upperhand as she pulls Nessa into a tight headlock. Nessa pushes back, wriggling out of Elena's grasp before sending Elena into the ropes. She bounces off, Nessa leapfrogs her on the rebound, and then waits for her to bounce back off the ropes before hitting her with an expertly executed hip toss. Elena hits the mat hard before bouncing back up and rushing at Nessa, who leapfrogs her once again. She waits for Elena a second time, trying to catch her with another hip toss, but this time, Elena counters it into her own hip toss, sending Nessa to the mat. She rolls to her feet and the two stare at each other once again as the L.A. crowd cheers.
Nick Webb: At least at this early point in the match, it would appear both of these women are pretty evenly matched.
Rayne: We'll find out soon enough which one of them can keep that momentum going, I think.
Nessa and Elena begin to circle each other again before tying up a second time. This time, Nessa gets the upper hand as she pulls the arm of Elena and twists it. Elena tries to get free, but Nessa wrenches it further, smirking as Elena cries out in pain. Thinking quickly, Elena drops down and rolls, loosing herself from the arm wrench. She rolls behind Nessa, leaping up before dropping her down to the mat with a scissored sleeper hold! The placement isn't ideal, though, as Nessa twists and tries to get free, reaching her arm out and clamping down on the bottom rope with relative ease. The referee yells for Elena to break the submission and she does after he reaches a count of two.
Nick Webb: Good environmental awareness there by Nessa Wall.
Elena stands up and leans down, waiting for Nessa to reach her feet. She does and Elena charges at her, aiming with a flying wheel kick. Nessa moves out of the way, though, leaving Elena to slam down on the mat hard. As she rolls to her feet, Nessa runs at Elena, catching her with a shoulderblock tackle that sends her rolling across the ring. Elena pulls herself to her feet using the ropes and Nessa charges again, aiming a clothesline designed to knock Elena out of the ring, but Elena ducks and catches Nessa, flipping her over the ropes herself. Nessa lands on the apron and leans down, thrusting herself through the middle ropes to double Elena over. With the Sovereign Champion stunned, Nessa jumps over the top rope, catching Elena with an impressive sunset flip! The ref drops down to cover!
1!
2!
Kickout! Elena breaks out of the pin attempt and the match continues.
Nick Webb: Impressive moves from Nessa Wall so far, but it's a little too early to put away a competitor like Elena Simonova.
Rayne: Not necessarily true. Catching Elena off guard with a surprise pin can be just as effective as a well-timed finishing maneuver. Given how few times Simonova's lost in her career, it may be the most effective way of beating her.
Back in the ring, Nessa pulls Elena to her feet and whips her into the corner. She approaches Elena and readies her hand before hitting the red-haired diva with a loud knife edged chop that nearly causes her to burst out of her ring attire! The crowd utters a loud "WOO!" as Nessa follows this up with two more stiff chops. On the fourth chop attempt, Elena finally ducks and reverses their positions before nailing Nessa with a few nasty chops of her own. Elena whips Nessa into the opposite corner and charges in for a splash, but Nessa moves out of the way, leaving Elena to land face first on the top turnbuckle. As she stumbles out of the corner, Nessa comes up from behind and hits her with a reverse neckbreaker before going for the cover.
1!
2!
Kickout! Elena kicks out at two. Nessa starts to lift Elena again, but Elena suddenly pulls Nessa down into a small package!
1!
2!
Kickout!
Nessa kicks out and starts rolling to her feet, but Elena grabs a handful of Nessa’s hair and slams her head down onto the mat. A smattering of boos lace the crowd's reaction as Nessa holds her face and points at her hair, trying to get the ref's attention. The referee issues a formal warning to Elena, who simply smirks cockily.
Nick Webb: Elena's playing a little dirty here, and I don't think Nessa much cares for it.
Nessa walks over to Elena and gets in her face, talking inaudibly. Elena seems to be mocking Nessa as she talks, and though we can't hear what she's saying, body language suggests that the conversation quickly grows heated. Nessa gets in Elena's face, which prompts Elena to shove Nessa backwards. Nessa looks the other way for a moment, before turning back to Elena and delivering a hard slap to the right cheek of the Sovereign Champion! Elena holds her cheek, almost stunned, and then without warning, tackles the blonde Canadian, mounting her with punches as the crowd cheers loudly for what has, for the moment, degenerated into a catfight.
Rayne: May I?
Nick Webb: (Sighs) Go ahead.
Rayne: (Clears throat) CAAAAAAAAAATFIIIIIIIIIIIGHT!!!
After a brief scuffle on the mat, both women find their way to their feet and begin laying fists into one another. Elena gains the upper hand as she presses Nessa against the nearby ropes and then whips her across the ring. She follows, and as Nessa reaches the other side, she bounces off only to run right into a double axe handle from Elena, sending her down to the mat hard. Elena aims the buzzsaw kick portion of her Hammer and Sickle (Running double axe handle followed by Buzzsaw kick), but Nessa ducks the kick and, with her balance momentarily thrown off, Nessa clips her free leg, sending Elena falling to the mat hard. She rolls onto the apron and tries to pull herself up, but Nessa reaches her feet and hits a quick springboard dropkick, hitting Elena and knocking her off the apron and onto the barricade on the outside!
Nick Webb: Ooh! Nasty fall there; those barricades are basically metal and concrete with a thin layer of material covering them!
Rayne: Is this the turning point in the match Nessa's been waiting for?
As Elena pulls herself up on the outside, Nessa hops over the top rope and positions herself on the apron. Elena reaches her feet and Nessa jumps onto the second rope, bounding backwards with a springboard moonsault that sees her knee collide with Elena's forehead! The crowd utters an audible "ooh" as both women hit the mat hard. As the referee starts to count, Nessa slowly reaches her feet, while Elena is still down. She pulls Elena up, and then rolls her into the ring before following and making the cover.
1!
2!
Kickout! The crowd seems surprised, and Nessa herself looks a little frustrated that Elena managed to survive that nasty shot on the outside.
Nick Webb: I think if that move would have been inside the ring, this match might have been over. For a second there, Simonova looked like she was out cold!
Rayne: Nessa wasted too much time on the outside. I think you're right; for a moment there, she had this match won for sure.
Refusing to give in to frustration, Nessa looks out to her boyfriend, Matt Ford, on the outside, who offers encouraging words. She collects herself even as she picks Elena up and whips her into the far left corner. She moves across the ring before charging, aiming her STFU (Handspring Bodyblock to Back Elbow [usually to the face]) but at the last second, Elena slides out of the way, leaving Nessa to hit the turnbuckle! She stumbles back from the corner and Elena catches her from behind with a swinging neckbreaker as a "Let's Go Nessa *clap clap cla-clap-clap*" chant slowly picks up in the crowd.
Nick Webb: Well, I think we can tell who the majority of this crowd seems to be cheering on here!
Rayne: I think Nessa's really impressed this Los Angeles crowd with her performance tonight, especially after her status was considered questionable following the attack by AJ Adams on last week's Havok.
Elena pulls Nessa to her feet, who shoves Elena off of her and into the ropes. She aims a clothesline, but Elena ducks under it and bounds off the ropes on the other side, coming back and catching Nessa with a running shoulder block. She then drops a series of standing elbows onto Nessa's chest and abdomen before rolling to her feet, running across the ring and hitting a running dropkick to the seated blonde bombshell.
Nick Webb: Elena's really picking up steam here! I get the feeling Nessa thought this was going to be an easier match!
Rayne: I kinda got that from her promo for this match. She spent most of it focused on the title match after this one!
Elena pulls Nessa to her feet and hits her with a back elbow to the jaw before setting up and hitting a snap suplex. Nessa tries to get back to her feet, but Elena snaps a quick kick to the back of her head, knocking her back onto the mat. With Nessa down on the mat, Elena reaches over and starts applying a float over armbar. Halfway through the move, Nessa shifts her weight and pulls Elena back into a school boy roll-up!
1!
2!
Kickout!
Elena breaks out of the pin attempt and both women roll to their feet, but Elena catches Nessa with a tackle that knocks both women to the mat. She begins laying into Nessa with punches, seemingly losing her cool as the crowd starts booing.
Nick Webb: The fans seem really unhappy with the way Elena's been acting during this match. It's a lot more like the anti-fan friendly Elena Simonova of old.
Rayne: And why the hell not? That Elena dominated PWA! I for one am truly enjoying this mean streak that's coming out in this match - it's just like Elena went on about earlier this week! The flames of truth!
Elena stands up and grabs a fistful of Nessa's hair. She pulls Nessa to her feet and whips her across the ring, but Nessa holds on to Elena's arm, comes back and hits her Against The Wall (Spinning Backfist)!
Nick Webb: AGAINST THE WALL! FROM OUT OF NOWHERE!!!
Rayne: Where the hell did that come from!?
The crowd jumps to their feet, popping loudly as Nessa drops down into the cover! The crowd counts along as the referee's hand hits the mat!
1!
2!
3............................NO!
At the LAST millisecond, Elena kicks out of the cover! The crowd can't believe it and neither can Nessa!
Nick Webb: HOW did Elena kick out of that?!
Rayne: I have a feeling Nessa's asking the same thing, Nick!
The crowd is going absolutely nuts as Nessa pounds the mat in frustration just for a moment. She quickly composes herself as Matt cheers her on outside the ring and she stands up, ready to put this match away. She leans down and blows a kiss to Elena as the Sovereign Champion slowly rises to her knees. Nessa takes a step back and bounds off the ropes, jumping in the air and hitting Elena with the Kissy Kissy (Stiff Shining Wizard preceded by a Blown Kiss)!
Nick Webb: Kissy Kiss- WAIT!
A split second before the move connects, Elena drops to the mat out of instinct, leaving Nessa to miss the move and fly into the ropes! She bounces backwards off the ropes and lands hard on her head, rolling her backwards. Elena rolls to her feet and, as Nessa staggers to her feet, Elena wastes no time, grabbing the stunned Canadian and hitting her with the Reverse Psychology (C4)! Elena starts to move into the cover, but stops before smiling widely.
Rayne: What's she up to? Don't waste time, Simonova; cover her!
As the crowd boos, Elena stands up. She pulls Nessa back to her feet, positions her, and leaps backwards, hitting a second Reverse Psychology (C4). Not content with this, she stands up again, the crowd booing even louder, before hoisting Nessa up and hitting a third straight Reverse Psychology (C4). Finally, with this, she drags Nessa to the center of the ring before covering Nessa and hooking both legs.
1!
2!
3!
DING DING DING!!!
Scott Benjamin: Ladies and gentlemen, here is your winner... and the 2013 Queen of Happenstance... the BWF Sovereign Champion... ELENA SIMONOVA!!!
"My Songs Know What You Did in the Dark (Light 'Em Up)" by Fall Out Boy begins blaring over the BlazenTron as Elena Simonova slowly stands up, taking in the negative crowd reaction. At ringside, Matt Ford is seen shaking his head and a few feet away, Akemi Hayashi is... not where the camera is expecting her to be.
Nick Webb: Where did Akemi go?
Rayne: Look!
CRACK!
From out of nowhere, Matt Ford slumps down to the outside. The camera pans over and we see Akemi, standing above him, her cane now broken in two where it collided with the back of his head moments ago. She glances into the ring and blows a kiss to Elena, who grins wickedly.
Nick Webb: What in the world is going on?
The music cuts out as Elena lifts Nessa into a sitting position before locking her into the Iron Curtain (Octopus Stretch). Nessa comes to enough to exclaim in groggy, pained gasps. Elena cranks the move back harder and Nessa seems to pass out, but Elena refuses to release the hold. The arena reaches a crescendo of loud boos and "You Suck" chants. After a good thirty seconds, Elena finally relinquishes the hold, smirking cockily.
Rayne: Elena Simonova just turned her back on all of these fans, that's what's going on. I mean, if she hadn't before, that's most certainly clear now.
Elena exits the ring and Akemi is waiting, Elena's Sovereign Title in her hands. She puts her arm over Elena's shoulder and the two make their way up the ramp, stopping at the stage where the Happenstance Throne is waiting. Akemi stands back and holds onto the side of the throne as Elena lifts up the cape and scepter. She hands the crown to Akemi before putting the cape on and sitting down on the throne. Akemi hobbles over to Elena and slides onto her girlfriend's lap, gently placing the Happenstance crown onto Elena's head before pulling her in for a passionate kiss. Pyro begins going off above the BlazenTron as the crowd continues booing loudly.
Nick Webb: Well, THAT aside... congratulations to the 2013 Happenstance Queen, Elena Simonova. Elena will -
Rayne: SHH. This is HOT.
Nick Webb: Oy. As I was saying... Elena will face the BWF World Champion at Legacy X in July. As far as who that will be... we're going to be find out momentarily here. Stick with us, folks... we still have what is sure to be one hell of a main event coming shortly!
Catwalk Celebration
After a bumper for HBO airs, we see a view of our audience here live in attendance in the Staples Center before the camera cuts to the top of the ramp as Otto Bumblefeck comes out on stage accompanied by no music whatsoever with a microphone in his hand.
Otto Bumblefeck: Ladies 'n' gentlemen, children of all ages! It is my privilege to reintroduce you here tonight to one half of your new BWF Tag Team Champions of the world, "2Rude" Rudy Rudo!
Techno music started to blast throughout the arena as 2Rude stepped out from the curtain, wearing aviator sunglasses, a shiny and tight gold dress shirt with forearm-long sleeves, equally tight black leather pants, a black cashmere scarf and one of the BWF Tag Team Titles strapped loosely around his waist. Otto passed him the microphone.
Rudy Rudo: I know I just won this a moment ago but I just had to come out here and remind you all that just because you're all ugly doesn't mean you have nothing to live for because I'm now one of YOUR Tag Team Champions!
The crowd boos heavily. He smiles as he holds his championship by the side plates and looks down at it. The camera zooms in to reveal his custom nameplate, which has not only has '2Rude' written in the font of French script but also been encrusted with diamonds.
Rudy Rudo: I just need to see how I won this again! Roll the footage!
He turns to the BlazenTron as they replay the footage of the final moments of the match again.
==========================
Toco growls loudly, trying as hard as he can to force Ian to let go so he can eliminate him, but Ian just refuses to let go. Neither man sees Rudy Rudo running across the ring - the model jumps up, splashing hard into Toco's back! The impact of the splash thrusts Toco forward, knocking Ian loose and out of the ring! With Toco dazed, Rudo grabs his leg, trying desperately to lift him up and over, but he can't get the big guy off of his feet.
Rayne: Kid, you're not gonna be able to... wait! Look!
The crowd starts buzzing as the man who Rudo's been fighting, Logan Avery, suddenly appears, grabbing Toco's other leg! Rudo looks over at Avery for a moment, and then starts lifting. Avery does the same, and Toco starts going over! They both push with all of their might, lifting as hard as they can, and against all the odds, with both men combined, Toco is hoisted over the top rope and lands on the apron before unceremoniously bouncing off and landing on the floor of the Staples Center!
DING DING DING!!!
Scott Benjamin: Ladies and gentlemen, here are your winners... and the NEW BWF Tag Team Champions... LOGAN AVERY AND "2RUDE" RUDY RUDO!!!
"Greed" by Godsmack hits the BlazenTron as the official enters the ring with both Tag Team Titles and hands a belt to each man. They look at one another with trepidation before heading to separate corners to celebrate what each man likely perceives as their own personal victory.
==========================
Rudy Rudo: O.M.G! Wasn't that totally fab, you guys?!
The live audience is not pleased at all by any of this.
Rudy Rudo: And because I'm so generous you people are in for yet another treat! Isn't that exciting?! Right here, right now, you are all going to witness the first ever BWF Championship Runway Walk!
2Rude passed Otto back the microphone and turned to face directly down the ramp. His entrance music started to play again as he straightened his back and neck and began to walk. As he took each step he placed his foot down in front of the other one, all the while keeping his head and back completely straight. When he reached the end of the ramp he paused and jutted one hip out to the side, with lots of attitude, showing off his title belt. He repeated that on the other side before turning around... only to find himself face to face with the Owner of the BWF, Emily Corlen. She sighs, and the crowd pops.
Emily Corlen: Okay, Rudy. Any other time, I would love to let you celebrate. But, right now? These people paid to see Kyle Cross and AJ Adams shave each other's faces off with broken glass, and you're getting in the way of that. I'm afraid that I'm going to have to ask you to take it backstage.
Both Rudy and Otto start to argue, only to find that the mic Rudy was holding has been cut off.
Emily Corlen: Do you know where your new partner is right now, Rudy? He's backstage, in my office, reading up on the future of the BWF Tag Team division. You see, I have pretty big plans for those titles, and unless you get onto the same page as your partner real quick? You're not going to be a, oh, how did you put it, Hashtag Champ on Day One for very long.
Emily smirks. Rudy only gets angrier.
Emily Corlen: Get backstage. We have a main event to get ready for. Go on. Shoo.
Begrudgingly, Rudy and Otto make their way backstage, the crowd cheering as they go.
Emily Corlen: Thank you all for putting up with that. Stick around, folks - our main event will be beginning momentarily!
The crowd pops loudly as a graphic for the forthcoming BWF World Championship No Holds Barred Match flashes across the screen, followed by a hype video for the match.
DING DING DING!!!
Scott Benjamin: Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is your main event of the evening, and it is the No Holds Barred Match for the BWF World Championship!
The fans are going wild with excitement and vigor; this is a match that every single one of them has been anticipating since it was first announced. “Let’s go Adams!” and “Let’s go Cross!” chants are ricocheting off of each other.
Nick Webb: This is it, folks, the Happenstance Main Event is finally upon us! Just listen to this sold out crowd!!
Rayne: This is the match that I’ve been waiting for all night! AJ Adams is going to successfully defend his BWF World Championship against the goody two shoes Kyle Cross! [laughs]
Nick Webb: Don’t underestimate Cross; the BWF was where the Crossfire Army was born and they’re in full support of the Scarred Sentinel!
The energy in the Staples Center is off the charts as introductions are made.
Scott Benjamin: Introducing first, the challenger... he hails from Toronto, Ontario, Canada... weighing in tonight at 238 pounds... he is the Scarred Sentinel... he is KYLE CROSS!!!
"Defy You" by The Offspring hits the BlazenTron and Kyle Cross steps out onto the stage, taking a moment to take it all in before bolting down the ramp and sliding in beneath the bottom rope. He then takes to each turnbuckle in turn, pointing out to the fans, before taking his place in the center of the ring and awaiting the bell.
Rayne: Damnit, his army’s loud as hell! I can barely hear myself over their cheers!
Nick Webb: I’m certain that Cross is going into this match, guns blazing! Becoming the new BWF World Champion would permanently solidify his name in our wrestling history books! Adams better be careful not to let his guard down.
It takes a moment for the fans to start settling down, although the constant “Let’s go Cross!” chanting is still present.
Scott Benjamin: And his opponent... he hails from right here in Los Angeles, California... weighing in tonight at 176 pounds... he is your current and reigning BWF World Champion... he is AJ ADAMS!!!
"Lights Out" by P.O.D. hits the BlazenTron and the lights go dim as blue and red lights begin to search the arena. As a burst of pyro goes off, AJ Adams is seen standing on the stage looking into the ring. He walks down and sometimes points to the sky. He slides into the ring and climbs one of the turnbuckles. Adams then points out to the crowd and then makes a fist with each hand. He jumps down to the mat and waits for the bell to ring, all while embracing cheers from his hometown fans.
Rayne: Listen to this crowd! Now THAT’S a welcoming hometown ovation!
Nick Webb: I’m inclined to agree! Adams wants to give his first title defense everything he’s got, and he wants to do it here in LA!
Rayne: He is a walking success, Nick! Cross better be ready to go to war because Adams will show no mercy!
Surrounded by his hometown fans, Adams feels confident as he looks Cross in the eye. But within the capacity crowd, the Crossfire Army stands relentlessly behind their leader. The senior referee accepts the BWF World Championship belt and raises it up, displaying what exactly is on the line. And then...
DING!
The bell resonates throughout the arena. Adams and Cross lock up for only a brief moment before their fists start flying in each other’s faces. The blows soon find new places to strike, their bodies becoming vulnerable without concern. Adams kicks Cross in the midsection and attempts to Irish whip him, but Cross reverses and sends Adams to the ropes instead. His clothesline barely misses Adams’s throat, and in return his face is introduced to the champion’s forearm. Cross staggers for a brief second, yet without delay he retaliates with a left hook to Adams’s temple and chains it with a beautiful European uppercut right under his chin, launching him off his feet for a second! Stunned but still balanced, Adams knees Cross in the abdomen and floors him with a snapmare. Immediately does Cross return the favor as soon as he’s on his feet, sending Adams down on the mat with a judo throw and into a cover.
1!
Kickout!
Not even a 2 as Adams kicks out. Cross brings himself and the champion onto their feet, attempting to lock in a tight sleeper hold. However, Adams forces his way out of the hold and transitions Cross into a wrenching side headlock. Just as fast as it starts, Cross runs and jumps on the middle rope, escaping with a springboard reversal and connecting Adams with a lariat takedown. The challenger tries to secure a crossface submission hold, yet Adams rolls over and counters with an armbar. In mere seconds, Cross maneuvers his way out of Adams’s grasp and both men roll out of the ring to catch their breath. The fans are shouting with high approval, once again starting the “Let’s go Adams!” “Let’s go Cross!” chants.
Nick Webb: Wow! What an amazing technical display between the BWF World Champion and the Scarred Sentinel!
Rayne: While it’s cool that they’re technically proficient in wrestling, this IS a No-Holds Barred Match. Bring on the PAIN!
Nick Webb: Well I think the hardcore element is about to start because both men are bringing out the weapons!
On one side of the ring, Kyle Cross retrieves a Singapore cane. On the opposite side, AJ Adams possesses a kendo stick. At the same time, both men are back in the ring and their weapons collide with one another, the shots resonating throughout the arena. Adams swings high and Cross ducks down; the Singapore cane aims for the legs, only for the kendo stick to parry the blow. A full swing from both wrestlers and their weapons are knocked from their hands; Cross follows through with a superkick to Adams’s temple! Adams falls and Cross covers him with the hook of the leg--!
1!
2!
Kickout!
Nick Webb: Adams gets the shoulder up!
Rayne: Holy Hell, that was close! C’mon champ, get up!
Cross doesn’t appear to be discouraged. In fact, he smiles before he rolls out of the ring, reaches under the apron, and retrieves a coil of barbed wire! Reminiscent of his stint in Japan, Cross wraps the barbed wire around his right hand as if it’s tape, ignorant of the barbs prodding his flesh as he gets back into the ring. Adams seems dazed, unable to prevent Cross from climbing over him and driving barbed wire-infested punches into his forehead! The barbs cut into Adams’s forehead and Cross’s fist, the first spill of blood upon them both. Screaming, Adams instinctively grabs the Singapore cane that was discarded earlier and repeatedly smacks Cross’s back until the punches stop. Staggering away, Cross hisses in pain and Adams slams the cane right across his face! The fans are roaring as Adams quickly covers the downed Guardian Angel--
1!
2!
NO! Cross gets his shoulder off the mat before the 3!
Adams attempts to get on his feet but he stumbles, grabbing the ropes to avoid falling. Blood is gushing slowly from his forehead and trailing down his face. Meanwhile, Cross is gazing aimlessly towards the ceiling, a trail of blood streaming from his right nostril after the impact of his own weapon. Adams starts to come to his senses, the level of urgency increasing. He breathes deeply, rolls out of the ring and starts to search what’s underneath it. Lo and behold, he pulls out a table and pushes it into the ring, following quickly after it. Adams uses the ropes to pull himself onto his feet, then he grabs the table-- unaware of Cross’s movements-- and rests it diagonally against one of the corners of the ring. When he turns around, however, his face meets a spinning barbed wire backfist by Cross! The air in Adams’s lungs leave him and he collapses a bloody mess in the center of the ring, flesh partially ripped from his right cheek. Painstakingly, Cross unravels some of the barbed wire from his right hand, gritting his teeth as his left hand wraps around the loose end. Circling around to Adams’s head, Cross wraps the barbed wire around his throat and forces him up in a hanging strangulation!
Nick Webb: Oh my God, Cross is choking the life out of Adams! If he doesn’t let up--
Rayne: This is SICK! Adams is bleeding like a stuck pig!
Nick Webb: ...Wait a second, folks, AJ raked Kyle’s eye and--
Rayne: Hangman’s neckbreaker! Cross loses hold of the barbed wire and Adams is barely able to go for the cover!
1!
2!
Kickout!
Nick Webb: NO! Kyle just gets his shoulder up!
Rayne: What the-- STAY DOWN, CROSS!
The fan's cheers are resonating with gladness! Adams isn’t quite sure what to think, gasping for precious oxygen that Cross deprived him of. His forehead, right cheek and neck are lined with cuts and painted with blood. Unbalanced, Cross takes the time to recuperate; he slowly rolls out of the ring and lies next to the apron in a half daze. Adams goes in the opposite direction, slipping on his hands and knees, blood dripping on the padded floor beneath him. Unbeknownst to the both of them, each man seeks the offensive advantage under the apron... They come up with steel chairs, one for both of them. Adams is barely the first back in the ring, and when his half-blurred vision catches Cross mimicking from the other side, he rushes him with a chair shot to his face! The Scarred Sentinel flies into the ringside barricade, much to the Crossfire Army’s dismay, and his steel chair is left in the ring. The BWF World Champion falls to one knee and wipes his eyes with his hands to clear some of his vision. “Let’s go AJ!” chants are picking up from several fans in support of the hometown champ. Adams brings himself to stand, setting up his chair and then Cross’s soon after with an open gap between them.
Nick Webb: What does AJ Adams have planned...?
Rayne: I don’t know, but it better put Cross down for good!
Nick Webb: He’s out of the ring again, looking for something-- ...Oh God no.
Rayne: Oh God YES! Light tubes!
At least ten light tubes are carefully rolled into the ring by the Tattooed Technician. He gets back in and starts organizing the light tubes on the chairs, forming a bridge where the gap once was. Distractions and dizziness keeps him from realizing that Cross is back in the ring-- his own face wearing a crimson mask, turning around a second too late as Cross nails him with Look To The North (Snap Jumping Side Kick)! Adams stumbles and barely grabs the ropes for leverage, Cross charges him, but he evades at the last second and clutches the Scarred Sentinel with the Lights Out (Tazmission)!
Rayne: Yes yes yes! Victory shall be AJ’s!
Nick Webb: Adams has Cross tight in the Lights Out! Will the Crossfire Army have to riot?!
AJ Adams refuses to ceasefire and Kyle Cross is fighting not to tap. The referee checks on Cross, looking for his response, and despite the blood loss it comes... He runs backwards full speed and drives Adams back first through the cornered table!! Splits and chips of wood are flying and once again the wind is knocked out of Adams, finally releasing the hold on Cross and nearly collapsing inward. Cross falls forward and coughs, trying to regain the air his lungs desperately need. Cross is hardly steady as he half drags Adams from the broken table and covers him, hook of the leg--!
1!
2!
Thr-NO!
Adams BARELY gets the shoulder up before the 3! Cross can’t quite believe it, slumping over on his side. Respectively, the fans are cheering for their favorite in this bloodfest of a wrestling match. Given a cool minute to breathe, Cross is the first to move as he rolls out of the ring and searches below for something. He pulls out what looks to be a black bag and the fans are ecstatic.
Rayne: Now what?
Getting himself back into the ring, Cross looks over at the light tubes bridge that Adams formed earlier in the match. He walks over to the man-made structure and begins to pour small, sharp thumbtacks under and around the light tubes. Nick Webb and Rayne are nearly hyperventilating with excitement and nervousness; the fans are eagerly cheering, high on anticipation! Cross turns to Adams who is beginning to grasp some self-control, striking his face with his blood-stained right fist. He gets a couple knees to his sternum and abdomen, bringing the champion closer to the dangerous mess in the center of the ring, and directs a sharp blow to his midsection to stun him. As quickly as he can go, Cross scales one of the top turnbuckles, steadying his balance, and goes for The Spirit of ‘77 (Flying Fameasser)---!
Nick Webb: And Cross with the - WAIT!
Adams somehow manages to catch Cross in mid-move and reverse it into an exploding German suplex that drives them both through the light tubes and onto the thumbtacks!! Glass and dull silver scatter, decorating the bloody canvas that was once a clean ring. Cross is enduring such agony from the brunt of the damage while Adams is grimacing. The fans are wild, their cheers and yells capable of blowing the roof off. “Holy Shit! Holy Shit!”
Nick Webb: I can’t believe what just happened! Exploding German suplex on the light tubes AND the thumbtacks!
Rayne: Hot DAMN! Their bodies are pretty fucked! They were right-- this match was going to be a bloodbath!
Nick Webb: I can’t even hear myself over how loud this crowd is! Folks, this match could be considered for Match of the Year!!
Rayne: I don’t know who’s going to win this... It’s so close!
The referee checks on both men, looking to see who is going to get up first. Adams slowly and carefully moves away from where most of the wood chips, glass and thumbtacks are in the ring, small pieces of glass jammed in his flesh. Cross is gingerly rolling away, several thumbtacks stuck to his back and upper arms. Adams reaches the ropes first, using them to pull himself up and straighten out. Cross is stammering to get up, and not even halfway there, Adams takes him down with Eat It (Fameasser)! He hooks Cross’s leg with the cover!
1!
2!
No! Kickout!
Cross denies him the victory with his shoulder off the mat and the Crossfire Army is still hopeful! Even in his weakened state, Adams is frustrated. He has inflicted so much damage on the challenger, yet he continues to fight! What must he do to retain his World Championship? Sluggishly rolling out of the ring, Adams’s energy kips with adrenaline as he searches for something underneath the ring... and soon enough, he pulls out a 20 foot tall ladder. His fans are surging with excitement as he drags it-- not into the ring, but around it. Cross is already recovering, trying to find a way to gather himself as he leans half his body against the ropes. Between the ring and the entrance ramp, Adams sets up the tall ladder and quivers from the blood loss catching up to him. In due time, Cross makes his way out of the ring, his face just as bloody as Adams’s, and soon he finds himself standing before the champion. Adams makes the first swing, his fist connecting with Cross’s nose. Cross staggers but retaliates with a left jab to Adams’s temple. Slow, power punches transitions into a slugfest, then Adams deviates to a low blow-- something the Crossfire Army shuns disapprovingly-- into a DDT!
Nick Webb: Low blow and DDT combination by the World Champion! He’s... not going for the pin!?
Rayne: AJ’s exhausted. He’s lost so much blood-- I’m surprised he hasn’t passed out! I bet he’s looking for the ultimate finish to this match.
Nick Webb: I have a feeling that Kyle is far from done. Battered and bruised as he is, he’s a fighter!
Adams gazes upon the ladder standing tall before him. He moves to one side, looks over at Cross and watches him gather himself. Slowly Adams begins to ascend the ladder one rung at a time, having to place both feet on each rung before attempting the next. Eyes stinging from the crimson, Cross forces himself to the other side of the ladder, carefully making his way up. He’s just one rung below Adams, their movements creating slight instability for the ladder. Everyone is watching from where they are, the theoretical spotlight shining only on the champion and the challenger. Adams finally reaches the last rung on his side, looking straight into the eyes of the Scarred Sentinel as he joins him on the same level of the opposite side. The Tattooed Technical slugs Cross in the face, but he’s still holding on, even countering with his own punch! More and more do their swings and staggers shake the ladder. Adams lands a vicious blow to Cross’s chest, taking the time of the stun effect to steady himself on his feet, looking for the Last Call (Codebreaker)--!
Rayne: Not out here!
Nick Webb: I have a bad feeling--!!
Hit with a second wind, Cross blocks the catalyst of the deadly finisher, and then he forces Adams into a side headlock position. Nick Webb and Rayne quickly retreat from their announce table seconds before Cross executes the Crossfire Driver (Vertical Sidedriver {Emerald Fuson Kai}) on Adams-- THROUGH the announce table!!! Everyone is going crazy, screaming and shouting! “Holy shit!” chants are echoing wall-to-wall; Cross and Adams are down, splayed across the broken remains of the table. The referee rushes over to check on both men while Rayne is yelling obscenities that cannot be picked up on his headset. After what feels to be an eternity, Cross stirs just enough to throw an arm over Adams’s chest. The referee starts the count -
1!
2!
3!
DING DING DING!!!
Scott Benjamin: Ladies and gentlemen, here is your winner... and the NEW BWF World Champion... The Scarred Sentinel... KYLE CROSS!!!
“Defy You” by The Offspring resonates throughout the arena as the Crossfire Army shout with joy for their leader. The referee retreats for a moment to collect the BWF World Championship belt, returns and extends it towards Kyle Cross. Exhausted but grateful, Cross receives the title and splays it across his chest, closing his eyes and embracing the cheers before passing out.
Nick Webb: I... I just... wow! I'm speechless!
Rayne: I think this might be one of the few times in history where a guy loses in his hometown and the crowd still goes home happy... that's not a knock against Adams, though, that's just how damn respected Kyle Cross is!
Nick Webb: And on this night, May 27, 2013, over seven years after making his BWF debut, the Scarred Sentinel can finally call himself the World Champion of the company that brought him to the United States! Tonight is not about controversy, tonight is not about backstage politics, tonight is not even about making a statement - tonight is simply a celebration, of the man Kyle Cross has become... and the Championship he now carries, earned with every last bit of blood and sweat the man could muster!
Rayne: Let's not take anything away from AJ Adams, Nick. He put up a hell of a fight against Cross here at Happenstance and almost beat him more than once, but in the end, only one man could emerge from this match as the BWF World Champion, and tonight wasn't AJ's night.
Nick Webb: Folks, Havok returns on a new bi-weekly schedule starting on June 10, and our next pay-per-view event, Legacy X, will take place from Madison Square Garden on July 21, where we will see the new Happenstance Monarch, Elena Simonova, battle the new BWF World Champion one on one for the richest prize in our company. I can't imagine two competitors better suited to represent the BWF in the main event of our tenth anniversary show - a perfect blend of old school vs. new school!
Rayne: Not to mention BOOBS!
Nick Webb: I sincerely hope you're talking about Elena, Rayne.
Rayne: Maaaaaaaaaybe.
Nick Webb: Alright ladies and gentlemen, we're out of time here tonight. For Rayne, I'm Nick Webb... good night from Los Angeles! Good night from Happenstance!
We see one final shot of Kyle Cross finally starting to stir in the wreckage of the shattered announce table, still gripping the BWF World Championship close, as the pay-per-view fades to the BWF logo, and then to black.
© Blazenwing Wrestling Federation 2013
QUICK RESULTS
HAPPENSTANCE TOURNAMENT: Elena Simonova def. Godless
HAPPENSTANCE TOURNAMENT: Nessa Wall def. Isaiah Mercier
Logan Avery & Rudy Rudo won a Tag Title Battle Royal; New BWF Tag Team Champions
HAPPENSTANCE TOURNAMENT: Elena Simonova def. Nessa Wall; 2013 Happenstance Monarch Crowned
Kyle Cross def. AJ Adams; New BWF World Champion